So, you are dating a foreign woman, you are dating her online, and you also plan to marry her one day. If you are here, perhaps, you are struggling with introducing your mail-order bride to your parents or siblings, don’t you?
Well, here are the answers to questions that you have been asking yourself when considering making your online dating more serious.
Don’t know how to let your relatives know you have a mail-order bride? Be transparent! Don’t keep it a secret until the time she arrives in your city. Yes, they might not like it at first, but at least they will get some time to think about it and get used to the fact that their daughter- or sister-in-law might be from abroad. It shouldn’t be out of the blue.
But if you don’t set yourself clear, hiding your love affair, believe us, you will only make it worse. Firstly, your relatives will think that something’s wrong with the relationship because you are ‘ashamed’ of telling about it.
Secondly, they might be suspicious thinking the foreign woman is just trying to push you around to get your money or permanent residence permit in your country. By not telling your relatives about it in advance, you risk ruining the trust in your family. Moreover, they might not take it seriously.
Ok, imagine you have told them. Perhaps, your mom clapped her palms in shocking amazement and then rolled her eyes, whereas your dad coughed and didn’t even look at you. That’s fine.
You will have to resist their bias concerning her nationality, race, age, height/weight, anything, but most importantly, that she is a mail-order bride. Unfortunately, media often portray mail-order brides as desperate women who are ready to expose themselves online to find anybody abroad. However, it is not the utter truth.
So how will you have to deal with that coach of bias? Step-by-step. Make sure you prepare your family for introducing your mail-order bride. Never start with: “Hey mom, I’ve got a fiancée overseas, we are going to get married in two weeks.” You will shock her.
First and foremost, start talking with your parents more about the relationship. Ask their opinion on international marriages. Ask what they would feel if you once married a foreign lady. Suggest they watch/read about successful international marriage stories. Tell them you have found a girl online and you see her attractive. And so on.
By being transparent and preparing them for the meeting with a mail-order bride, you will dodge all the awkward prejudice-based questions. At least, a ton of them.
But if they try to change your thoughts, set yourself straight – it is your choice, they may advise you, but it is you who makes the decision. Finally, make the first step. Let your mail-order bride and family talk on Skype before they meet in real life.
After all, give them some time. They will definitely need it to think things over.